The Dance
by brokenbohemian
Summary: Holding you I held everything, for a moment wasn't I the king, But if I'd only known how the king would fall, hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all. And now I'm glad I didn't know, the way it all would end the way it all would go. RogMimi


I own nothing Jonathan Larson (characters) Garth Brooks (Song)

**The Dance**

Roger's heavy boots clanked some what ungracefully as he trudged up the stairs of his apartments building, heading towards the roof, a simple wax candle serving as his only light. Gently setting his guitar against the wall with a gentle thud, Roger pushed open the door towards the roof and sighed as cold winter wind rushed in. He walked out onto the roof and walked to the very same chair he sat in on Christmas Eve, 5 years ago when he was singing about April and lost opportunity. Ever since he and Mimi had gotten together five years go, that roof held so many more memories than it ever did before. Sighing once again as he sat down on the chair as he rested his guitar on his legs before he began playing the notes to a song he had written for Mimi awhile back. While the melody was the same, the words were changed slightly. Now instead of speaking of a love that was everlasting, that would never die, he spoke of the memories that he and Mimi shared and that even if he had known what t out come of their love would be, he still wouldn't of changed it for anything. His voice resonated on the rooftop as he began to sing the words that he had kept locked up in his heart for far too long. **"Looking back on the memory of, the dance we shared beneath the stars above. For a moment all the world was right , how I could have known you'd ever say goodbye" **As Roger poured his heart out on the roof top he thought about all of the good times he and Mimi shared through the past five years.

_**Flash Back (December 25th, 1991. 12:30 am Eastern Standard Time)**_

_Mimi Marquez walked quietly up the fire escape towards the loft where she knew she was sure to find Roger. As he quietly opened the door, she noticed Mark sitting with his back towards her, quietly editing film. Deciding she would have a little fun with the filmmaker, Mimi quietly tiptoed up behind Mark until she was right next to his ear. _

"_Merry Christmas Mark," She whispered into his ear causing him to yelp and jump a little in his seat. _

"_Jesus fucking Christ Mimi, you scared the crap out of me. And why are you here? Not that I mind, but I thought you were working at the Cat Scratch tonight." Mark stated as he stared at her with a puzzled look on his face. _

_Mimi shrugged as she tentatively walked over to Mark's editing machine and peered in to see what his latest project was. Moving back she looked at Mark, "I quit," Mimi, said shrugging her shoulders and moving around to look at different pictures, as if quitting the Cat Scratch was no big deal. _

"_Mimi that's great!" Mark said with a smile as he walked over to give his friend a hug, "If you don't mind, can I ask why?" Mark continued as he gently pulled away from Mimi. _

_Sighing Mimi just looked at Mark with a goofy smile as she stated, "I love Roger…it's as simple as that. And I will do anything it takes to make this work, even if it means giving up dancing there." Mimi said before giving Mark another hug, "Merry Christmas Markie," Mimi playfully whispered in his ear before walking towards Roger's bedroom. _

_Slowly peeling off the black cardigan that she had worn up to Roger's loft, Mimi threw it on the ground as she watched Roger's sleeping form from her position at the door. Roger was laying on his back with his hair sprawled out over the pillow and the blankets pulled all the way up around him in an attempt to keep himself warm. His face, his face was the thing that Mimi loved the most. During the time that he was sleeping Mimi always noticed was the time that he looked the most at peace. There was no scowl on his face or no smart-ass remark coming out of his mouth. But most importantly there was no hurt in his eyes. She could always see in Roger's eyes that while he might be happy for a moment, the hurt and the uncertainty shown threw his eyes all the time. AIDS had tainted Roger's eyes and Mimi was tempted to bring back as much as the pure happiness in them that she could. _

_Mimi gently crawled up the bed in a cat like manner as she inched closer to Roger's sleeping form. Mimi playfully kissed the top of Roger's nose and giggled when he groaned in response, "Rog, baby, wake up." Mimi said as she started to plant kisses all around his face. _

"_Nope, don't wanna," Roger playfully said as he shifted around in his bed as he smacked his lips together. Before Mimi could protest, Roger snaked his hands around her thin frame and brought her down onto the bed next to him. Mimi couldn't help but let out a laugh as Roger pulled her tight against him and kissed her cheek lovingly before attempting to go back to sleep. _

"_But Roger," Mimi playful wined and she struggled to get out of his embrace. Roger just responded by pulling her even tighter as he rubbed his nose playfully up against her neck and collar bone, occasionally peppering her neck and collarbone with feather light pecks, "I've got a surprise for you," Mimi finished in a singsong voice. _

_Stopping his ministrations, Roger pulled away as he quirked an eyebrow at her, "Really, I'm intrigued…does it involve you and I being naked in this bed and me doing ungodly things to your body?" Roger said with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrow. _

"_Uh…" Mimi said, pretending to think as she tapped her finger on her chin, "No, but I promise it will be worth it." _

"_Ugh…fine," Roger, said with a roll of his eyes….he loved her….he really did._

"_Just go put some clothes on and meet me in the kitchen in 20 minutes." Mimi said before kissing Roger's nose and untangling herself from his body. She had exactly 20 minutes to go downstairs to her apartment, get changed into her outfit and then make sure everything was ready up on the roof. _

_Mimi quietly walked out of the room and towards the door, but not before passing the couch covering a sleeping Mark up with a blanket. _

_Quietly entering her bedroom Mimi unbuttoned and slipped off her dress before putting on a short white, silk baby doll. She had been planning this surprise for Roger for a while and now and couldn't wait to see his reaction. Zipping up her black leather boots, Mimi made sure he had everything she needed before securely tying Angel's old Santa jacket around her and walking towards her door. _

_Roger was not so patiently waiting for Mimi to return to the loft as he sat on the couch gently strumming his guitar. Finally when he was about to give up on waiting for her and go back to bed, there was a knock at the door._

_Sighing, Roger got up and walked to the door, "Mimi, why didn't you just…" But Roger stopped what he was saying as soon as he saw what Mimi was wearing. Roger licked his lips and smirked as he fully took in what Mimi was wearing. Angels Santa jacket came to mid thigh on Mimi and her see-threw white baby doll was even shorter then that. _

"_What's this for?" Roger said as he pulled Mimi into a tight embrace, moving his fingers up underneath her jacket to tease her thighs and upper legs._

"_Part of your Christmas present baby," Mimi moaned into Roger's ear as she snaked her arms around his neck before moving her lips down to suck on Roger's collar bone. This time it was Roger who let out a low guttural moan. _

"_Mimi can we move this into the bedroom please? You're killing me here," Roger pleaded as he stared into Mimi's beautiful brown eyes. _

"_Mmmm, yea…but first," Mimi purred as she pulled all the way back and removed something from her jacket pocket, "Gotta light?" Mimi said with a seductive gleam in her eye as she held up a wax candle. _

_Chuckling Roger played along, "I know you, you're shivering." Roger replied as he light a match that he had stashed in his pocket with his cigarettes. _

_Shrugging and walking towards the stairs with her newly light candle Mimi continued, "It's nothing they turned off my heat," Mimi said reassuring to a following Roger as she walked up the stairs, "And I'm just a little weak on my feet…would you light my candle?" Mimi purred as she stopped to face Roger._

"_Always," Roger finished as he held onto the railing for support as he leaned up to place a tender but playful kiss on Mimi's lips before grabbing Mimi's hand and continuing up to the roof. The rest of the way up to the roof was silent except for the sound of their boots hitting the metal stairs and the only light that was emitted in the stairwell was coming from Mimi's candle which she blew out, engulfing them in darkness when they reach the top. _

_Later that night, when the strawberries were finished and Roger and Mimi were sitting on the roof engulfed in a blanket and each other, Mimi decided to tell Roger her big news. _

"_Hey Rog," Mimi whispered from her resting place on his shoulder. _

"_Yea babe?" Roger said as he looked down at her curiously. _

"_I quit The Cat Scratch Club tonight," Mimi said nonchalantly as she played with his hands. _

_Smiling to himself and secretly thanking God, Roger gently kissed the top of Mimi's head, "I love you." _

_Looking up at Roger and smiling Mimi replied the same before kissing his lips. Pulling out of his embrace Mimi stood up and faced Roger with her palm outstretched. _

"_Yes?" Roger said with his brows furrowed and a confused look on his face. _

"_Dance with me?" _

_Without a word, Roger stood up pulling Mimi towards him as he began to gently sway them side to side, humming Muzetta's Waltz. This Christmas had been perfect and Roger and Mimi could not be happier then they were right at this very moment, dancing among the stars and holding each other in their arms. _

_**End of Flash Back **_

That was by far Roger's favorite Christmas (next to the Christmas he met Mimi of course) and he would give anything to have that year back. Continuing with the song Roger thought about the other highlights of their relationship, like the time he asked her to marry him. _"_**And now I'm glad I didn't know, the way it all would end the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain, but I'd of had to miss the dance"**

_**Flash Back **_

"_Roger no!" Mimi shrieked as she bolted out of their room and into the kitchen with paint on her face and a brush in her hand. Mimi and Roger decided that their bedroom desperately needed a paint job and today was as good a day as any. _

_Half way through Roger decided he was bored so he decided to get a little frisky and attack Mimi with a dab of light blue paint on her cheek. Mimi, never being one to take anything lying down, sighed frustratingly as she dipped her paintbrush into the paint and flicked it on Roger. The paint splattered all over Roger's face and in his hair as well. _

"_Meems you bitch!" Roger shouted playfully, "You got it in my hair." Roger said as he tried in vain to get the paint out of his hair only serving to make it worse._

"_Yea, well something had to be done to it," Mimi said with all the attitude she could muster, placing her hand on he hip, "It looks like shit," Mimi finished with a 'what are you going to do now look.'_

_Throwing his head back and laughing, Roger dipped his brush into the paint, "Oh your gonna get it," Roger said as he dashed towards her paintbrush in hand. _

"_Roger no!" Mimi playfully screamed as she threw her hands up as she turned around and ran out he door, Roger hot on her trail. _

_Mimi ran straight out of the bedroom and all the way to the bathroom. Realizing that she had nowhere to run Mimi decided to change things around and quickly turned around and jumped into Rogers's unsuspecting arms with a mischievous gleam in her eye. She jumped into his arms with so much force that Roger stumbled back and fell onto the couch with Mimi in his arms, both of them laughing during the whole thing. _

_The laughter soon died down and both of them chuckled lightly as they stared lovingly into one another's eyes. Mimi's chuckles soon died down and turned into a warm smile as she stared down at Roger while lovingly stroking his semi-blue hair. _

"_You know I love you right?" Mimi said with a somewhat doubtful look on her content face as she gently continued to stroke Roger's hair. _

"_Of course," Roger replied with a baffled look on his face as he reached up and pecked her lips, "Don't be silly babe." Roger pulled Mimi into a tight embrace as he molded his lips to hers. _

_Few things were right in Roger's life; he was succumbing to a deadly virus, which ultimately meant that his life would be cut drastically short, not to mention the fact that they were freezing, hunger and sometimes dirty. _

_The one positive thing about his life, his light in the dark abyss was Mimi. The spark that she had and the positive aura is surrounded herself in was enough to bring happiness to even the most twisted souls. _

"_Hey Meems," Roger said as he playfully kissed her neck, "Why don't you go and shower and meet me back in the bedroom, I've got something to show you," Roger purred into Mimi's ear. _

"_Roger, I'm pretty sure that what you want to show me will just get me sweaty anyway, so it kind of defeats the purpose," Mimi said as she looked at Roger with a mock knowing gleam in her eye before she busted out laughing. _

_Laughing Roger smoothed out her wild, dark hair, "No Meems, I mean, yea later on we can," Roger said as he moved his hands lightly across her body, enticing a moan from his lover. "But first," He continue to purr, "I've got a surprise for you and I have to set up, so take that sexy little butt your to the shower," Roger said as he playfully slapped Mimi's rear, "Because you're way to much of a welcome distraction right now." _

"_Well fine then," Mimi replied as she frained hurt, "I know when I'm not wanted," she said as held her hand to her heart and turned on her heal and moved towards the bathroom door, "I don't even know why I love you," Mimi spat as she continued to pretend as though she were hurt. _

_Before Mimi could get too far Roger sprang up from the couch and pulled her into a heated embrace. Their tongues dueled for dominance for a few moments before Roger reluctantly pulled away, resting his forehead against hers. _

"_Oh yea…that's why," Mimi giggled before scooting out of his embrace and walking into the bathroom. _

'_God I love her,' Roger thought as he smiled at the closed door before moving to quickly set up Mimi's surprise. _

_Twenty-five minutes later Mimi stepped out of the bathroom showered and dressed to find a note hanging the doorframe. _

_Smiling at Roger's creativity, she opened the letter to find that it was a clue, 'Great, a scavenger hunt. Well Lord knows I like chasing after things,' Mimi thought as she read Roger's clue. _

_**Mimi, **_

_**Got a light? Go into the kitchen draw and light a candle.**_

_**Love, **_

_**Rog **_

_Mimi laughed fondly at the memory of their first meeting as she did what she was told. When she opened up the draw to where the candles where kept, she smiled when she found another note. _

_**Mimi, **_

_**I want to you look your sexiest tonight, so….strip! **_

"_WHAT!" Mimi exclaimed out loud in disbelief as she placed a hand on her hip, 'he can't be serious,' she thought as she continued to read._

_**Ha-ha, don't get all huffy Marquez, and remove the hand from your hip, I'm NOT serious. I laid out your black dress and pink leggings for you on the bench by the window…I even ironed them. Damn I'm good.**_

_**Love **_

_**Rog**_

_Mimi smiled as she moved over to the bench and quickly put on the articles of clothing before going back to the cupboard and lighting the candle. Glancing back at the window Mimi finally noticed a note hanging on it. _

_**Meems, **_

_**Were not done painting; go grab a paintbrush and dip it in the container of black paint I bought and come and help me in the bedroom. I'm waiting.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Rog**_

"_Black paint?" Mimi thought aloud as she moved towards the container and dipped the brush into the black paint that sat near the door to their room. "But our room's blue," Mimi finished, with her brows furrowed in confusion as she opened the door to the bedroom. _

_Her confusion quickly vanished when she looked into bedroom. Candles were lit everywhere and Roger was standing next to the wall, paintbrush in hand, and red roses in the other, as he looked at Mimi expectantly. Mimi's gaze shifted from Roger to what was written on the wall. _

_On the wall, written in black paint were the words, "MARRY ME?" scrawled in big letters in handwriting distinctly Rogers. Mimi held back a sob as she placed a hand over her mouth and quickly glanced back at Roger, who was grinning from ear to ear, to make sure she wasn't dreaming._

"_Really?" choked out as continued to cry while a smile adorned her features and happiness glimmered in her eyes. _

_Roger gently placed the flowers down on the bed, never taking his eyes off, of Mimi as he moved closer to her. Gently taking one of her hands in his, he played her hand before placing it on his shoulder so that his hands were free to encircle her waist. "Yea, I love you Mimi," Roger said as he softly kissed Mimi, "I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you as my girlfriend," Mimi's nose scrunched up in confusion before Roger corrected himself, "What I mean to say is that I don't want to spend the rest of my life with you being __**just**__ my girlfriend. I want to wake up every morning with you by my side knowing that your mine forever. Knowing that on one will __**ever**__ get to see you as if I see you or will be able to touch you as if I touch you. I want you to die Mimi Davis not Mimi Marquez and I want to die knowing that I am joined with the love of my life forever." Roger stated lovingly to a crying Mimi. To him she looked angelic with her bronze skin glowing in the candle light. "So what do you say?" Roger said sheepishly as he got down on one knee as he opened up the ring box revealing a antique diamond ring that had been his grandmothers, "What to make an honest man out of this badass rocker?" Roger finished with a half smirk as he looked up at Mimi. _

_Tentatively Mimi dropped Roger's hands and picked up her paintbrush that had been forgotten on the floor long before as she walked over to the wall. Mimi smiled to herself as she drew a heart on the wall before writing her answer inside of it. _

"_Meems, what are you doing?" Roger said as he got up from his place on the floor and walked behind her wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck. _

"_Just writing my answer," Mimi replied as she leaned back into Roger's embrace. Once she was satisfied with her drawing, she threw the paintbrush down and looked back at Roger expectantly. _

"_September 29__th__ 1992? Mimi what does that mean?" _

_Mimi looked up at Roger's perplexed face before smiling and kissing him on the lips, "It's the day I want to get married." Mimi said to a confused Roger. Once Roger realized what Mimi was saying he broke out in a huge grin before picking her up and spinning the both of them around with her in his arms. Laughing Mimi took his face in her hands and kissed him lovingly. "So I take it this means you're happy with the date?" _

_Roger threw his head back laughing before looking her in the eyes, "Yes, I'm very happy." Roger said before kissing her passionately and lying down on the bed with her underneath him. _

"**Holding you I held everything, for a moment wasn't I the king." **

_Later that night when Roger was threw showing Mimi just how happy he was, they laid in their bed together, bodies intertwined, caramel skin mixing in with vanilla, Roger couldn't help but think that this was possibly the best moment of his life, next to actually marrying Mimi. _

"_Why September 29__th__?" Roger said quietly as he stroked her damp curls. _

"_It was Angel's birthday. I figured that since she was the one to bring me back to you, that it was only right to pay homage to her by getting married on her birthday." Mimi said from her spot nuzzled in his collarbone. _

"_I think she would be honored," Roger said as he continued to smooth out her hair and kiss her forehead. "So I was thinking we could get Maureen to come over and repaint our room for us. No doubt she'll piss us off in the near future so we can think of the repainting as payback for whatever way she makes our lives a living hell this time," Roger chuckled. _

"_No," Mimi said looking up from her spot as she traced lazy circles on his bare chest. _

"_No what?" Roger said as he stopped his own ministrations and looked down at Mimi. _

"_Leave the wall, I like it. It will be a daily reminder of how much we love each other. Besides if you don't leave the wall as proof people will never believe I actually said yes." Mimi giggled as Roger pouted at the statement._

"_I've got to words for you and there not Happy Birthday," Roger said with mock hurt in his voice. _

"_But babe…you just did, quite well might I add," Mimi said as she caught on to his little innuendo. _

"_God I love you," Roger sighed happily before he kissed her forehead and fell asleep with Mimi in his arms. _

_**End of Flashback **_

As Roger thought back to all of the good times he and Mimi had shared, he could help but let his mind drift back to all the suffering she had done in the end and how she wasn't with him any more. Roger got up from the chair and moved over to the edge of the rooftop as he continued to pour his heart out to the entire East Village not caring who heard him. Mimi was gone and this time no amount of singing would bring her back. The worst part about it all was that he wasn't even there to say good-bye. **"But if I'd only known how the king would fall, hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all. And now I'm glad I didn't know, the way it all would end the way it all would go."**

_**Flash Back **_

_Mimi Davis was not a happy person as of this moment. Mimi's HIV had become full-blown AIDS and she knew her time was depleting, fast. It took all of the strength that Mimi had left in her body to hall herself out of the bed she shared with Roger and to get to the open door. Suddenly feeling incredibly weak Mimi grasped onto the doorframe with all of her might as she squeezed her eyes shut in pain. _

"_Roger," Mimi choked out as she began to sob in pain. Over the past couple of months, Mimi had dropped down to an astonishing 98 pounds and was now covered in bruises. _

_As soon as Roger heard her voice, he leapt up from the couch and caught Mimi's frail body in his arms. Mimi just let him hold her, not even attempting to pretend like she had the strength to hold on, as she continued to squeeze her eyes shut in pain. _

"_Mimi, I'm calling a cab and taking you to the hospital…" Roger said as he gently cradled his dieing wife in his arms. _

"_No! Roger no. I'm just having a bad day, I'll be fine…just," Mimi said before crying out in pain and digging her nails in Roger's arm as she writhed about in pain. Once it subsided, she began again, "I just need some rest, that's all baby." Mimi said as she looked up at him, sweat glissading down her face as she tried her best to give him a smile. _

"_Mimi, please," Roger began as she tried to plead with his stubborn wife. _

"_No! I'm not going back there dammit!" Mimi said with a sudden burst of energy. "Just let me rest, I'll be __**fine**__, I promise." Mimi said as she killed Roger full on the lips with all of the passion she had left, their tongues dancing in a sad, torrid love affair, that they both knew would be ending sooner then either wanted. Once she pulled away, she reached up and hugged Roger with all the energy she had left. "I love you," she whispered softly. _

"_I love you too," Roger said as she smiled sadly down at his lover before she pulled away and headed into their room. Flopping down on Roger's side of the bed and shakily inhaled his unique sent before letting out a sob. Mimi held onto his pillow tight as she let his sent comfort her while she succumbed to the overtaking pain. _

_Later that night Mimi woke up to find Roger laying bed next to her, arm wrapped protectively around her thin waist and his chin resting on the top of her head. Disentangling herself from Roger, Mimi walked out into the living room and gently pushed the window open. She stepped out onto the fire escape and breathed in the night air deeply as she wrapped her arms around her thin body in an attempt to keep warm. _

_Mimi was going to miss this, the nights when the sky was so clear that you could count the stars; waking up in the early dawn curled protectively in Roger's arms. She was going to miss dancing on tables (and every other surface for that matter) and causing a riot with her family wherever they went. But most of all she was going to miss Roger. The way his hair fell in his face when he laughed. His eyes the way they light up when he was laughing or talking about something he was truly passionate about. But mostly she was going to miss the way he looked at her as he held her close to his body, afraid that at any moment she was going to leave. He stared at her so intensely sometimes that she had to look away, to keep from drowning in his eyes. He looked at her as if she was the only woman in the world, the prettiest thing alive and if she were to escape from his grasp, he would be lost forever. The truth of the matter was that she was leaving now and there was nothing either of them could do to prevent it from happening. Sighing, Mimi walked back into the loft and into the bedroom. _

_Sliding under the covers Mimi molded herself to Roger as she took a moment to study him. 'God I love him,' Mimi thought as she stroked his peaceful face, tears silently streams down her own. _

"_I'm sorry," Mimi said as she gently kissed his cheek, a few tears hitting it as well, before she curled up into him and let sleep over come her. _

_The next morning Roger woke up with the plan of forcing Mimi to go to the doctors whether she liked it or not. Maybe if she complied they could have a picnic in the park afterwards. They haven't had a good day in awhile and Roger was determined to change that. Roger began to speak as he rolled over to face her, "So Mimi I was thinking we should…" But Roger stopped short of what he was saying as he looked at Mimi. She looked extremely pale and when he touched her, he noticed how cold she felt. _

"_No," Roger said as he shook his head and began to cry. "Mimi, please come back, please… MIMI…" The rocker wailed as she cradled his lover's lifeless form in his arms as tears rapidly down his cheeks. _

"**Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain, but I'd of had to miss the dance. Yes my life is better left to chance, I could have missed the pain but I'd of had to miss the dance." **Roger finished wailing as he spread his arms out daring the listeners to take him as he was; a dieing rocker with a bleeding heart.

As much as it hurt him to let Mimi go and to watch her deteriorate he would trade the memories and the love that they shared for anything. Death was not the hard part; it's final, no room for argument or uncertainty. The tough part was going on with your life when the people you love aren't at your side. Rolling up the sleeve of his leather jacket his looked at the black and blue mark that had formed on his forearm.

Looking up at the clear night's sky, so clear that you could count the stars, Roger sighed, and "I'll be seeing you soon Meems." Roger sighed as he pulled his sleeve down and walked back to the roof door, silently preparing himself for his premature death but with the renewed hope that someday soon he would be at peace again with Mimi by his side.

_One look  
One smile  
One touch  
One embrace  
One kiss  
One love  
Two people  
Two minds  
Two souls  
Two destinies  
One road  
One journey  
One ending  
Together._

- Melissa Higgins -


End file.
